Thursday, December 31, 2009

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Eye Know

I really dislike going to get an eye exam.

I am blind, and therefore I must go get a prescription for contacts. They have all these newfangled exams. It used to just be, "Look at the big E," but now it's push the button, watch the house, blink twice, get air in your eye, look up, look left, and turn yourself around. Ugh! Then, they take your contacts and glasses away and want you to read the eye chart. Uhhh, that's why I'm here! I can't read it. Plus, as I was reading the chart, I could not read the last letter on the bottom line of the chart. With either eye. I said something like, "I really don't know what that letter is," and the doctor replied with, "Maybe because it's a number?" OH! I had no idea they threw in numbers on that chart. Cheaters. Do they want us to get it wrong?!

So, they give me the goofy looking glasses, change the lenses again and again, and say, "One or two?" about a billion times. This one better? This one better? Truthfully, all the choices kind of suck. Don't ask me how they ever come to a conclusion about what the prescription should be.

Have you ever had your eyes dilated on purpose? It's kind of freakish. I could see like normal, but then I would look down or go to read something, and it's as if I had the worst vision in the world. I was sure that this is what it would be like to need bifocals. Except that the bottom focus wasn't working. After my eyes had been sufficiently dilated, the doctor uses a bright light and a magnifying glass of sorts and looks through my eyeball at my retinas. LOOKS THROUGH MY EYEBALL! I'm not gonna lie, it freaks me out that you can look through an eyeball.

After the lecture on changing my contacts more, using a different solution, better contacts that are now available, yadda yadda yadda, I leave with one pair of contacts and another appointment to come back in a week to see how they are working out. Why is it they have to change my contacts every time I have an eye exam? Come on! I've been wearing them for eleven years. One pair is practically as good as the next. Besides, my eyes are so sore now that I'm probably going to be wearing my glasses for a few days anyway.

It was kind of weird driving home with dilated eyes. With my sunglasses, the day looked normal. I snuck a look without them, and it looked as bright as the Second Coming. No joke. It was brilliantly white and light outside. Ridiculous, I know.

My conclusion? I'm saving for LASIK. Donations will be accepted.

Monday, December 28, 2009


Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Signs


These are some of the silly signs that I saw while I was in the U.K. The first sign is a speed limit sign. It's kind of just so happy that it makes me want to go the speed limit. The next sign marks an exit. It makes me want to run toward the exit. Usually, people are told to walk calmly in emergencies. This sign would make me think otherwise. Run, run as fast as you can! The last sign, which took me awhile to figure out, is actually a sign for a place to gather in an emergency. Bring your family here, to this electrical box! But be careful--it's high voltage! These signs just make me laugh.

Sticky

Yep. It's true. I gave all the kiddos suckers. They loved them, even though they were quite the sticky mess. Notice Axton's red shirt. All those dark lines are sucker juice dripping down his chin. :)






Thursday, December 17, 2009

You Know You're a Dork When . . .

You love brand new socks. Spankin new. LOVE them!
You can't tell a good joke because you laugh before the punch line.
You reply to most comments or questions with song lyrics.
Signs with bad grammar make you cringe.
You're asked, "Are you a night owl?" and reply with, "Whoooo? Me?"

I could go on forever with this list . . . although I've just realized I probably shouldn't.

To Each Her Own

At Family Home Evening, we made gingerbread houses. Well, that was what we were supposed to make.
I had no desire to make one. None. So instead, I made this:
People scoffed, laughed, and said that it was a lazy man's gingerbread house.

What can I say?

I really like camping.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Ouch!

I am a bad educator. I checked my little brother out of school today to go snowboarding. With all the snow this weekend, could there have been a more perfect time? I think not! Hey, he is 17 and a good student. Life is short!


Usually, I'm a skier, but have a secret desire to be a snowboarder. Yep, it's true. I just think they look so much cooler! Sorry, skiers! In all honesty, I've wanted to try snowboarding for awhile. So when Michael said he would teach me, I didn't give checking him out of school a second thought.


What was I thinking?!


Snowboarding is much harder than I thought! Actually, it's pretty easy to get going--going fast! The problem that I had was stopping. That and running into every snowbank imaginable! Here is the only bad cell phone picture of the day. It's me buried up to my chest in powder trying to dig my way out. Don't worry! I had help from the ski patrol. Yep, it's true. I really did have a good time. I think I'm going to have to try it again. Sooner or later. Maybe later. Don't worry, I wasn't hurt. Mostly just my pride. Ouch.




I am wearing black pants. Please notice you can't see them. My legs were buried. "Swim," they shouted! It didn't work too well. I did manage to get my board off before burying my legs. I felt like it was my life preserver in the vast snowy ocean. :) Oh, and the orange tape is the out of bounds marker. Woops!

Monday, December 14, 2009

Dreams

I hardly EVER remember my dreams. Seriously, when I do, it's a miracle. Most of the time, I dream, wake up, and as soon as I open my eyes, *poof* gone. I've been having really weird dreams this week. These are from the past three nights. I can only remember four of the five, and I have a feeling the one I can't remember was the best, but here they are for your wonder.

Dream #1: Michael and I went snowboarding. Michael knocked his teeth out. We were at the dentist getting them fixed. The end.
I told my mom about this, and she said we weren't allowed to go anymore. We're going tomorrow. :)

Dream #2: I was with a friend riding on a double decker bus in a foreign country in Europe. We were about two hours from where we needed to be. It was night, and we were in a small city. Then, all the sudden, bombs were going off everywhere. Someone took us off the bus, and guided us down into a building and proceeded to take us down several flights of stairs to a shelter. Even though it was several levels down, there was a window we could see out of. Everyone was worried and didn't know what to do. I pulled out my phone and said, "Hey, I have service. I'll call my mom." The end.
Weird, I know.

Dream #3: This is the one I can't remember, but when I woke up, I remember thinking I'd already accomplished a lot and it was only 5 am!

Dream #4: I was camping somewhere and there was a bear up a tree, watching me. I proceeded to poke the bear with a stick until it became upset and started to climb down to come after me. I proceeded to run. The end.

Dream #5: For some reason, I have to take a college PE class. Let's just forget that I have a masters degree. Anyway, I'm with another girl and we have two small children with us. We're driving around down at the University of Utah (something else I've never done). It's a downpour--raining like crazy! For some reason, she has to leave, and I have these two children that I have to get across the street. I get soaked. I don't know what happens to the children after that. Next thing I know, I'm trying to find parking in this small lot of about ten cars. I park and go into this building. Inside, it's like a gymnastics studio. There is a girl standing there, stretching, and she asks me if she should document her bruises. I'm looking at her, and she has prosthetic legs. Clear ones that you can see right through, so it kind of looks like she is floating there. I am trying to find someone to ask about the class. Finally I figure out I'm in the wrong building. The end.

Other dreams I have include being struck by lightening, dying, and repeating this three times, and I don't really remember my dreams. Hum. I am going to try to write them down more often, although they never make sense! The end.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Off-Trackness

What have I been doing with myself, you wonder? Well, I've been doing WHATEVER the HECK I WANT! Yep, that's the way I roll when I'm off track. I heart not having to work until January!

I spent a week in Phoenix, Arizona visiting family there and getting to know them a little better. Caught up with a few old friends, and even had the chance to see the Mesa Temple. The weather was wonderful--my perfect temperature--at between 60 and 70 degrees. What's the temperature right now? 2. Yep, that's right. As I sit here typing this, it's a chilly 2 degrees outside. Wow. I tell you what. Wow. I love the snow and sweater weather, but I'm kind of missing Phoenix.
After Phoenix, I headed to Las Vegas where I enjoyed a night of singing and dancing to The Cranberries. I went with some friends from out of state. We all met in Vegas and enjoyed the concert, some shopping, good food, and fun. Don't worry, no gambling here! :)
This week, I've just been cleaning, hanging out with friends, a little work, and spending some time with the family. Mike and I have made caramel popcorn and plans to go snowboarding. Finally, my little brother can teach me something! :) Just kidding. I've learned a lot from him already.